The Magazine Rack

Every month in Esquire you'll find a page thats titled something like Ten Things Men Don't Know About Women... or something to that effect. Then some random chick in the public eye writes up a list of 10 things. Usually at some point they'll say one like "You want that threesome with the hot chick at work? So do we. Why don't you go ask her." Which makes me wonder if there are actually a high percentage of women that are repressing lesbian tendencies and haven't told their boyfriend/husband, or if the articles has a threesome reference quota of at least once per '10 things' to turn on the men the magazine is geared towards. In any case, I'm going to put in my two cents and make my own "10 things list" for the general male public. If you already know these things, good for you. If you want to dispute my list- bite it. It's just my opinion. ;) In no particular order..

• You know all those axe/tag/ whatever body spray ads that have women fighting each other and flinging themselves at the good smelling guy? There's a hint of truth in that. Girls like guys that smell great. Insta-points for you. If you walk by a table of girls and they can smell your cologne (not so much it's gagging them) they will turn their heads to see who smells so good.
• Be nice to your mom. It's a reflection of how you treat women. Unless she's a total heinous bitch, then avoid her instead of yelling at her.
• We like that guys can kill bugs for us, stay calm in stressful/dangerous situations, can maintain our car, and eat like a man.
• Give compliments, but be sincere. It doesn't even have to be that often, maybe once a month. We remember these things.
• Instead of saying thank you when we make dinner, how about washing the dishes. Even better is if you know how to cook, and do it on a regular basis to give us a break. Chicks dig guys who can cook.
• Manscaping- learn it, love it.
• Men crying is only allowed when there is a death, you just got dumped by the girl you thought you'd be with forever, dismemberment, or a kick to the nuts. Movies are a grey area- unless you're crying and she isn't.... that's just wrong.
• Knowing how to dress yourself and match does not make you gay. Dressing well does not make you gay. Wearing pink does not make you gay- but it doesn't look right on all men. Having sex with other men makes you gay.
• We are always watching you. I mean that in a good way. There are a million little things that you do, that we love, and will never tell you.
• #10 will be the fine print rule that allows us to change our minds at a moments notice. It happens a lot. Accept it.

Word Up (Up) It's the code word...

Random Survey Questions:

What are you listening to: Word up- Korn
What are you eating: Taco Bell
Something you love: extra spending money
Something you hate: being in debt
Something you miss: being in school
Something you can't remember: life without a computer
I can't live without: a hair dryer and round brush
A website I recommend: http://www.deviantart.com/
Something I did today: Coinstar-ed my piggy bank... $48.36 that's a lot of freakin change
What I wanted to be when I was little: a paleontologist
What I am now: a college graduate working at Kmart
Within the next 5 years I want to: finish a damn book and have it published... and hopefully sell
Your name spelled backwards. Ycram
Where were your parents born? I want to say.. Detroit? Redford? or Livonia? I actually don't know
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? an update for City of Heroes
What's your favorite restaurant? I like food.. so ... I have a lot of "favorites"
Last time you swam in a pool? July '04- hotel for Nik's wedding
Have you ever been in a school play? in it, no I was the soundtrack... you could find me in the Orchestra pit, playing trombone
How many kids do you want? none-
Type of music you dislike most? music for children and all Christmas music
Are you registered to vote? yes- back in Novi
Ever ridden on a moped? no and probably never will
Ever prank call anybody? I didn't, but friends I was with did
Ever get a parking ticket? a couple.. damn Kzoo cops with nothing to do at 4 am than ticket me ;)
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Jesus god- NO
Furthest place you ever traveled? Beijing, China
Do you have a garden? no, I dont have a yard either
What's your favorite comic strip? Ctl Alt Destroy, I think it's called
Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes
Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower, whenever I wake up.. between 8 am and 7 pm
Best movie you've seen in the past month? Episode 3
Favorite pizza topping? ham and pineapple
What color lipstick do you usually wear? pinkish brown... i dont kno...
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? god no
Orange or Apple juice? both- as long as its no pulp orange
Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? taco bell with Adam
Favorite type chocolate bar? kit kat
When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2000, for gore i didnt make it home for 2004
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? never
Have you ever won a trophy? a lot of band awards.. theyre all collecting dust in a closet somewhere
Are you a good cook? i could burn cereal
Do you know how to pump your own gas? yes
Ever order an article from an infomercial? direct from the infomerical no.. i've seen the infomerical and bought the product online or in a store like- the Abslide.. used like 3 times
Sprite or 7-up? same thing to me
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? no
Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Orthoevra
Ever throw up in public? yes
Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? money
Do you believe in love at first sight? no
Can exes be friends? for other people, i think so.. for me. not usually-
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? no one
Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? full head of black hair.. then it all fell out and i was bald for a while- then got blonde curls- think
What message is on your answering machine? its a scary automated computery voice.. i dont kno what it says tho
What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? character.. i dont kno... but i like most of what will farrell and jimmy fallon do
What was the name of your first pet? Buffy
What is in your purse? nothing- thats what a wallet is for
Favorite thing to do before bedtime? watch something funny on tv.. or play COH
What is one thing you are grateful for today? the invention of Coinstar


well, that was fun. did anyone actually read through all of that?

That's right bitches...

I'm blogging.
I'm assuming that the novelty will wear off quickly. So don't expect this page to be updated all the time.