this is an emergency, dont you hide your eyes from me, open them and see me now

twice now ive attempted to do my christmas shopping to get it over with, and twice now ive come home empty handed.
well, technically not empty handed... i bought a #4 from mcdonalds (no pickles)...
i have no idea what to get anyone... on a budget.. and not make it look like i had a budget...
any ideas?

if all else fails..
everyone is getting a hooker.

a hooker bought on a budget..

so she might be a little gross.. but still- it's the thought that counts, right? ;)

It’s hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye goodbye

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home,'" " It sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "it's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know >>>> you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.
5. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of >>>> himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did




There she go talking her mess
all around time makin me stressed
I need to get this off my chest
and if ya girl want some then she'll be next
it aint really that complicated
ya'll lookin round like ya'll all frustrated
Ya actin real hard but I know your fakin
I know you really dont wanna step to this
I really dont know why you talkin shit
you about to catch one right in the lip
there's 'bout to be a -WHAT?!-

This is what I came up with after finally seeing the pix posting...
http://coh.com/community/halloween_images.html

Guesses for the Halloween Contest winners:

Best Male:
Kor #40
Argonnus #3

Best Female:
Frostfarie #31
Ravenna #53

Scariest:
Hypothermia #16
Kill the Clown #28

Scariest/Location:
Admiral Steaksauce #9 ?
Necro Femme #11 ?

Overall:
Conflicted Nature #30
Shadow Vixen #19

i see that avonlea and firedust have entered again- i wonder if i should have gone with jericca but.. "meh"... im starting to wonder about that avonlea guy. he really likes to dress up as her ;)

too bad there isnt a most daring again. :P

maybe next year....

from bikes to trains to video games...

i always thought that the Kmart radio network blew chunks- especially at christmas time. you hear three versions of the 12 days of christmas, one of which is sung by the muppets. now, all my friends know that i likes me a good muppet movie. however, listening to miss piggy sing "5 golden rings" over and over makes one want to slam their balls in the sliding glass door. or, in my case- being ball-less, to hang myself from the rafters with barbed wire.
unfornunately, toys r us radio is worse. i havent heard the muppets sing 12 days of christmas, but sylvester singing frosty the snowman has the same effect on me. it doesnt stop there, though... there is quite an array of characters to choose from, all singing different christmas songs.. on a 4 hour loop.
no matter how i try to block it out.. it just seems to pierce my soul.
just another reason to hate the holidays.
and its not even december yet.
merry f'n christmas.

some people call it a one night stand but we could call it paradise

if a guy wants to brag about how his wife has to wear a size H bra, but you see his wife and think
i cant really tell that she has size H boobs because her ass is proportionate to her chest
does he still get bragging rights?
and if by "she has the face of a cupie (sp) doll" and you think more like troll
i dont kno.. maybe its just me. but i think if youre going to go on and on about how hot/cute/lustworthy your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other is... you'd better be damn sure its not just you who thinks that.
all i can think of is that scene from dodgeball where White introduces Fran, from Romanovia and Lady in Red plays for the skinny kid

or... maybe im wrong

if the silence takes you than i hope it takes me too

getting an apartment here is almost as fun as watching your dog get run over by a truck.
hopefully NOW we will find out on monday if we have the go ahead for moving in on the 1st.
if not... i may have to slink my way back into kalamazoo.
do you ever want to just kick someone in the head because they talk to much? (i know youre nodding). why do the stories have to revolve around them? and, when you have an anecdote to add to the conversation, they cut you off before you even get to the relevant part to refocus the attention onto them. *slams head on desk
thanksgiving is on sunday. but, its october you say?
welcome to my mom's house. holidays are very flexible here. there will be 25 people in my house that day, if i counted correctly. if its going well or not, i'll be out of there at 7:45 to go to work. i think by that time i'll have had enough of the 7 kids...

but words left unspoken, left us too brittle, there was so little left to give

i feel *blah*
no, not BLAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
the last few days i've been analizing my life, or lack thereof.
i want to say that i wonder how i got here, to this point, but i really know.
i have gone a while now without night terrors but i just have a feeling that they will be creeping up on me again. in all honesty, i would rather wake up attempting to scream than randomly double over from sporatic chest pains.
i have a lot of "i should do this... i need to do this... i want to do this...i need to do this..." going on in my head right now. and for now my haircut is just a haircut. that will be after my halloween pix. i posted a comment on joes site about how showing skin makes baby jesus cry. i'll be giving him a coronary come halloween.
hopefully by 4 pm i will know if i am moving out and into an apartment. so, of course you bitches should come visit. hell, i'll probably try to bribe you into bringing out the last of my stuff thats in kzoo.


the ties i have to my father are down to a thread right now... and the sissors are getting closer.


Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for you
If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it's your eyes He's seeing through

lets do the time warp again...

are all the people that work at circuit city complete morons? 20 minutes and 4 associates later, we still ended up leaving empty handed because no one apparently knows how to ring up a pre-order computer game. o well- game stop came through for us.

everytime i go online i feel like i should leave something on here. i usually dont. but i do think about it. to give my "whats up" to all the J's. why are there so many J's in that circle of people? do you all gravitate towards one another? all you people. like its a race of people. all YOU people, with J names... damn... J's...
?

wow. im tired. i've been singing rocky horror songs for the last hour at work because... im either tired or out of my mind.

in any case... ill talk to you bitches soon. im hoping to go to kzoo for the pix again.. but one of you bastards needs to have a halloween party. get your shit together! i want an ipod!
i'll even let ya paint me!
... but that will be just between you and me. ;)

you tied a noose around your neck, and they pushed you over

o.o
>.<
o.O

kjaskjfskjhfakslhfaksljfdldslahg lhagl hgowenvodt ejiwvnskle.
.....


that is all.

yes

(http://jofish19.blogspot.com ) Joe, I totally agree with you on the writing what you want to write vs cesoring what you want to write because of... whatever reason.
i personally censor myself because im afraid of my family finding this, i guess. or even you guys back in kzoo... im sure theres a lot i could blurt out on here, but i keep it to myself because of what people might think. the random person that finds this blog- whatever- but my friends.. thats tricky. im typing as i think, so im sure this is a train wreck. i really need to go to sleep before i head to my other job.. so this is me rambling.. tired. but if i didnt censor myself if probably would just be a bunch of stuff like
"i've been hiding this from everyone.. im ________"
"i really wish i had never _______"
"only 3 people know that i ___________"
" i ______________________"
"i wish i would have slept with ________"

:D

your mother was a hamster...

yay! countdown to kzoo.
i get off work at epoch at 5pm.. home and out the door *hopefully* by 5:30... kzoo by 8?
we'll see..

anyway- they've announced the next costume contest on http://cityofheroes.com
i have some ideas, and i've asked the goth kid for ideas too. i dont know why, but i figured the brooding artistic goth kid would be able to come up with something archvillain-y. i dont kno why i keep calling him a kid. especially since i found out he's 29. *shrugs*
hopefully in the end its something "wow" and "thats fuckin cool"... at least enough for 2nd place. i just want the ipod. ;) and if not. i'll just whore it out and be a game slut. thats cool too. *shrug*
in either case, diva7 can suck my balls.

see you bitches soon-

aye amor, fue' una tortura perderte

im going to be in kzoo this weekend.
can i convince you bitches to go out clubbin?
as the wise dane cook said... "I just gotta DANCE."

anyone interested? ;)

run my baby, run my baby run

i had a post yesterday. due to bad connection or what not, it never posted- then i got frustrated and walked away.
i dont remember what words of wisdom i was trying to bestow to you, dear weblog readers- aka john and joe ;)

the only thing i do remember was i was going to close with words for the ages, as said by my sister...
after belching very loud...

"Good thing that didnt come out of my ass, or i would have shit myself!"



sexy.

this is my december...

i feel like im turning into The Dave. I've added calcium to my daily Olay vitamin pack which basically means im taking 6 pills in the morning. That just seems like a lot of tablets to me.
Now, at least is does. Back in highschool i dont think that would have made much of a difference. I was downing pain killers like it was my job- trying to stop the random/not so random pains throughout my chest and abdomen. when i left for college i all but stopped taking medicine- with the occassional tylenol...
hmm..
where the hell am i going with this.

can you tell i really have nothing better to write about?

if anyone is looking for new music- i recommend the new Cold cd. i likes cold.

at the moment i *should* be showering, going to the post office, checking out apartments, and grocery shopping. not at the same time, hopefully.

instead i am here-
all i really need is my sister to stop by with the baby. that would get me up and moving... out.
but she did give me a nice quote yesterday which i've remembered just so you fine people can use it in your daily lives. inspirational words, i guess.

after belching loud and chunky, my younger sister declared, " Good thing that didnt come out of my ass, or i would have shit myself!"


sexy. plain and simple.

peace out, dogs.

im ready im waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches you want me? come on and break the door down

random-

i hope jorids comes out with a cd soon- my sister was rooting for her for 'teh win'.

anyone want to take in a stray cat? the woman across the street died, and someone just let her cat out to roam the neighborhood til it dies, i guess. its big and white with a grey tail.

they switched over to a night crew at work, and didn't tell me about it. which i thought was weird, because that was the reason i was hired. im still at 6 am.
i ran into "Chris"- who is now on the nightcrew (the goth "im the biggest dork you'll ever meet" guy). he told me that he would mention to someone that i should go to nights. then he told me that i really caught him offguard from our previous conversation about action figures.
that really just made me wonder why he would try to have that conversation with me, if he thought i knew nothing about what he was talking about.
do people do that?
its not like im going to walk up to someone ive just met and say "hey, how about that establishing micro-credit type institutions in sub-saharan Africa?" *playful punch in the shoulder and then proceed to have a one sided conversation where the other person just nods for 5 minutes.
what was he expecting? "hey, the new transformers are pretty cool."
(1)- yeah, but i dont like how small the new Optimus is compared to Starscream. They even have him standing on a box, in the display. but i guess it doesnt matter... i have a handful of the energon series- it's not like im going to buy any more soon, unless they have a cool set of mini-cons or something.
or
(2) *blank stare* ... rrrrrright.

*shrug

8 days to my birthday.
and a couple weeks for Jofish. how old are you going to be this year? i never remember how old anyone is.. except that john is like... 40.

basic english

Examples why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They formed a row on the side of the canoe.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, w hen the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

jet

I'm changing now the wind is at my back
And I'm so ready to go
And I cannot sleep tonight for tomorrow
Ain't gonna get to you tonight
Like a wild jet plain arrives - forgiven

See that your time wasn't a waste
Don't you let her leave you tonight,
you know she can't be sorry for affectionate lies
She's so sweet for her crimes
Like a wild jet plane, fly - forgiven

Now you'll never catch me looking back,
though I've still a long way to go
Don't you count on me tonight
You need to find your own way home
Like a sinking ship dives, like a wild jet plain arise - forgiven

sigh

A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check. He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really much rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants achauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drivearound in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Becauseof the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escorther on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartmentabove the garage and the starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!"
The social worker says,"Yeah, well, you started it."

how can we fix this if we have no adhesion?

long time, no post.
what is up. does anyone ever look at this, except the occassional spam post?
any-hoo....

i was trained in the art of toys r us stocking by a 6'4" rail thin goth with red contact lenses. he was extremely bubbly for 6 in the morning. he actually reminds me of a combination of chris1, and old roommate who would run around my apartment naked pretending to mount my stuffed panda, and chris2 who i used to work with- who would work like a maniac and seems to be waiting for his father to just die. i cant remember the goth guy's name, so i just call him chris.
as the morning progressed, he attempted to "out-dork" me- in an attempt to prove he was a bigger geek, and therefore- the epitome of cool. ???
it confused me at first, until i realized what he was trying to do. his knowledge of toys- tv- 80s trivia etc etc... however, he didn't know that i had lived with joe, john, and adam... and i listened.

bring it on.

the only examples i can really remember were kinda like how he mentioned how he and his friends would do a little thing called "mystery scince theatre 3000" to movies like 'catwoman' but it was so bad that they couldnt even make fun of it. so i let him know that they should try the movie 'jesus christ vampire hunter:the musical" since we couldnt get through that one, either.
-marcy 1, chris 0.

then he let me know that he owns about 1,000 transformers. i told him that my transformers were set up in a battle scene ontop of the enertainment center with gi joes, rainbow brite, homies, and minicons dancing/fighting around their feet. he 'countered' by mentioning that they are making a live action movie- which i already knew, and told him i hope they dont fuck it up but it looks like they might have the right team assembled to make it. he then mentioned the 80s movie, and i told him how they said "shit" and it got people up in arms.
-tie.

later he started quoting Stewie from family guy, and i completed the last few lines when he quit.

nothing huge, just little things that the couple other people working there had no idea what he was talking about. i did. so i let him kno. i was in on all his little inside jokes wether he wanted me to be or not.


anyway. i've put in 74 hours in a week and a half at my other job- serving/setup/break down for a catering company. $12-15 an hour. they're hiring if anyone is interested. ;)

that is all for now.

continue doing what you were doing.

i came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now i've met you

i posted my resume on monster.com.
so far, i've been sent info from enterprise- to sell used cars
and primerica. i cant explain primerica. but if you google it, you can find all the details. mostly bad...

i dont really see how an international politics degree with an urge to see the world translates into used cars. but hey. i cant be picky right now.

thats why i will be working mornings at toys r us- and weekends serving for a catering company.

funny thing is- instead of working for rock financial, i will be serving them dinner on saturday.