Im changing now, the wind is at my back, and i am so ready to go

in honor of Joe's contest a while back for "worst sequel" ideas...

the winner was
Crying Game 2: Cry Harder
(which still makes me laugh) but i was thinking the trilogy should be
Crying Game 3: There's Something about Mary

any takers? ;)

ive got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face?

WHERE WOULD YOU BE IF:

YOU HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES
YOU HAVE NO WORRIES ...
YOU COME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU...
YOUR BATHWATER HAS BEEN RUN...
YOU HAVE THE PERFECT KIDS...
YOUR PARTNER IS AWAITING YOU WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES...

WHERE WOULD YOU BE...





IN THE WRONG FUCKING HOUSE......



Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,"Son... what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.""So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken furniture -- $85.26
Hot Breakfast -- $4.20
Red Rose bud -- $3.00
Two Aspirins -- $0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time -- Priceless.

as i whisper in your ear i want to f***ing tear you apart

"4 words" story brought to you by Red Bull & vodka c/o party at Snick's

A long time ago
there was a feller
who fucked your mom
and traveled to Wixom
and got drunk and
then traveled to Lansing
drunk and partied hard
and played dragons layer
because he was gay
he looked up MILF
and flew on a
magic donkey carpet ride
then he smoked crack
did not fondle dongers
or play with himself
he looked in mirror
but he found a
giant fucking turd fart
Shepard Brook then appeared
that guy already dead
then he woke up
from screaming monkey aliens
mr body massage machine(go)
chipmunks ate my ass
squirrels ate my nuts
and tater tots too
while driving to work
drunk with a hooker
he snorted some coke
and then after work
pulled hooker from trunk
gave her cheese sticks
took her to Denny's
the waitress screamed because
her head was burning
he went to the
bar and got drunk
did not drink whiskey
but drank wild turkey
unfortunately it was poisioned
and his head exploded
he was fuckin dead.

O.o
>.<
o.O
*blink*


moving on...

i like this song... k, gnight/gmorning... bedtime...

SHE WANTS REVENGE
Tear You Apart

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its rightAt the right place and right time, maybe tonightAnd the whisper or handshake sending a signWanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermindLate night, and passing, mention it flipped herBest friend, who knows saying maybe it slippedBut the slip turns to terror and a crush to lightWhen she walked in, he throws up, believe its the frightIts cute in a way, till you cannot speakAnd you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weakAn escape is just a nod and a casual waveObsessed about it, heavy for the next two daysIt's only just a crush, it'll go awayIt's just like all the others it'll go awayOr maybe this is danger and you just don't knowYou pray it all away but it continues to growI want to hold you closeSkin pressed against me tightLie still, and close your eyes girlSo lovely, it feels so rightI want to hold you closeSoft breasts, beating heartAs I whisper in your earI want to f*cking tear you apartThen he walked up and told her, thinking that he'd passedAnd they talked and looked away a lot, doing the danceHer hand brushed up against his, she left it thereTold him how she felt and then they locked in a stareThey took a step back, thought about it, what should they doCause theres always repercussions when you're dating in schoolBut their lips met, and reservations started to passWhether this was just an evening or a thing that would lastEither way he wanted her and this was badHe wanted to do things to her it was making him crazyNow a little crush turned into a likeAnd now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell herI want to hold you closeSkin pressed against me tightLie still, and close your eyes girlSo lovely, it feels so rightI want to hold you closeSoft breasts, beating heartAs I whisper in your earI want to f*cking tear you apart