ive done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing

a wish for 2006 ;)

youre falling out of reach, defying gravity, i know youre out there somewhere out there

I just had to share- made me laugh ;)

somethings gotta go wrong cos im feeling way too damn good

awake but still i'm dreaming and never waking up

Chris mk III actually argued with me last night about the usage and differences of to and too.
i'm not a stickler for grammar or spelling (which is REALLY obvious from just reading this blog) but when i told him he forgot an o to his sentence of "This one to"... the shit hit the fan.
i dont even remember the reasoning he told me, i just saw his mouth moving- heard nothing- and thought to myself ..."you're right... why would *I* know?"...
i really only wanted him to correct his sign because everyone thinks the nightcrew is mentally retarded, and they dont need any more ammo against us- then all i said was "too as in also".
after a few more minutes passed of his explaining, none of which i remember, i was thinking that my professor for my baccalaureate writing seminar would be smacking himself in the forehead- and then smacking me for working retail, and then i actually envisioned my AP English teachers for junior and senior year shaking their heads at me. by this point, i must have had a look of disgust because he actually conceded the fight. i was amazed because he never does that, and always needs to have the last word- after he turns and starts to walk away. (i'm waiting for another round of "who gets the last word" because i've decided to just say the most random shit ever like "puppies are cute" or "i drive a car" and hopefully leave him too confused to respond.
now, i kinda wanted to give him the tshirt that says "YOUR RETARDED".
*hopes anyone who just read that gets it*
i think it just bugs me a little more than usual because he's always going on about how he has a really high IQ (i dont remember the number), which to him translates into "i can do no wrong."
i scored a 146 when i was tested- and im not going to argue anything unless i am 1000% sure i know what the hell im talking about. but, i dont really argue with anyone about anything. i just let the rage burn inside me, waiting for a later date at which i will respond with shotgun justice.

on another note, tony (uncle of the drug dealing gangsta) said i look like a barbie doll when i take my glasses off. this is also the guy that apparently likes to choke women during sex, gets drunk and does golden showers (and i quote "you ain't neva got drunk and pissed on no one?"), and had the idea of knocking me out with boxes from the overhead so i wont put up a fight. (thanks for the insight, T.)

actually...
i think he can stay at least 10 yards away from me.
*watches for falling boxes

well i lie and im easy all of the time but im never sure when i need you pleased to meet you

*stern voice*
Jooooohhhnnnn... are you trying to start a "im going to drive my car through the front fucking window" movement? it's starting to take hold.
now they just need to go through kmart, toys r us, dicks sporting goods, babbages....

will we burn in heaven, like we do down here

is misery made beautiful right before our eyes
mercy be revealed
or blind us where we stand...


the last couple days have been very
O.0
>.<
o.O

ugh.

actually... it's bedtime. i need this day to end.
nothing huge- just a lot of little things adding up into one psychotic fit waiting to happen.
and could anyone tell me why, for no apparent reason, would someone just start talking with a slight british accent. (a bad one, at that)

i swear, you meet the weirdest fuckin people on 3rd shift.

yeah... bed.

im out like the fat kid in dodge ball.




She gets mad
and she starts to cry
she takes a swing but she can't hit
she dont mean no harm
she just dont know
what else to do about it

i hear you label me a liar cause i cant seem to get this through.. you say its over i can sigh again, yeah

Welcome to the Dance Floor...

so let's all make believe..

honestly, i was never really all that hungry, hungry

wash your hands clean of yourself, maniac, step down

Michigan Temperature Conversion Chart

> +70°F (21°C) and above > Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. > People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.

> +60°F (16°C) > North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. > People in Michigan plant gardens.

> +50°F (10°C) > Californians shiver uncontrollably. > People in Michigan sunbathe.

> +40°F (4°C) > Italian & English cars won't start. > People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

> +32°F (0°C) > Distilled water freezes. > Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

> +20°F (-7°C) > Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. > People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

> +10°F (-12°C) > Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. > People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

> 0°F (-18°C) > People in Miami all die... > Michiganders lick the flagpole.

> -20°F (-29°C) > Californians fly away to Mexico. > People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

> -40°F (-40°C) > Hollywood disintegrates. > The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

> -60°F (-51°C) > Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. > Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold > enough.

> -80°F (-62°C) > Mt. St. Helens freezes. > People in Michigan rent some videos.

> -100°F (-73°C) > Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. > Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

> -297°F (-183°C) > Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. > Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.

> -460°F (-273°C) > ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). > People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

> -500°F (-296°C) > Hell freezes over. > The Lions win the Super Bowl

ha ha! dangly parts

*giggles*
"booze money"
hehe

what if i missed you, you got caught in the sun

sorry john, your dead hooker started to smell, so i threw it out- ;)

Save some face, you know you've only got one, change your ways, while you're young, Smile like you mean it

Why rant? I've decided to say fuck it, and instead go with things that make me happy. I hope they make you happy, too. Gwen Stefani, Kiera Knightley, Shakira, Drew Barrymore, Shoo from S.E.S., Smashing Pumpkins, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Oasis, and Hyde from L'arc~en~Ciel.

I apparently have a twin named Tiffany who also has the same glasses.

One assumption I was correct about was that Myron is a drug dealer, so... one point for me?

*tallys it

a chica- cherry cola...

Hold me please, sister sweetly, Give to me, a place in paradise

This is in The Suburban Connection- holiday savings guide of coupons,flyers, etc. There is no acknowledgement of who wrote it, or why it's in there, nestled inbetween Dolly's Pizza and Lakes Baptist Church. I thought I'd share.


Holiday Tips to Help You Avoid Prision
Make evert effort to live in peace with all men. Hebrews 12:14

The problem with the holidays is that everybody wants to get together, so you have to fight traffic and then bite your tongue once you arrive. When people call to say "Let's get together for the holidays." Say, "You are dead to me." They'll ask you what you're talking about several times, but just keep repeating that phrase over and over again--- "You are dead to me." Eventually, they will hang up.
However, since you've actually been a rational person most of your life, your relatives may think it was a wrong number and show up anyway. If this happens, here are some tips to help you survive and preserve their lives.

* Visitation hours. Hire a nurse to parade around the house while the in-laws are visiting. enjoy their company. When you've had enough, give the nurse her signal. She'll approach everyone and say in that disinterested nurse-tone, "I'm sorry, visiting hours are over." They'll look perplexed, but no one argues with a bossy nurse.
* Gift Indicators. You don't want to hurt the feelings of your in-laws by telling them how much you hated the gift they gave you. So, if you want to avoid saying anything to them about their defective gifting abilities, but stull want to drop a hint about your dissatisfaction, here's a holiday idea. Get two boxes, one large and one small. Decorate them with wrapping paper if you like. hten male two signs to attach to the boxes. Write "Good gifts" on one and "Bad Gifts" on the other. After you open their gift, look at them and say as you normally would, "Thank you so much. It's wonderful." Then toss it in the box that says " Bad Gifts." This way you don't have to say anything to hurt their feelings, but you still give them a little hint.
* House Rules. Even adults will obey your house rulkes as long as they understand what the rules are. Holidays are expensive and since everyone is used to spending loads of cash, a good idea when rlatives and in-laws are visiting is to present them with a bill at the end of their stay. When they ask "What's this for?" Say, "What? You think I wait on people for free?"
*Their other half. When just one in-law presents a problem, the other members of the family can always get together and have them committed to an institution, but just for the holidays, of course. Or sometimes during the holiday dinners it's just the one person who says something inappropriate enough to make the dressing even soggier. Jen, 32 of the New York City area, has a might-be mother-in-law who spoke-- wishfully-- about "the grandchildren" at the holiday table, mortifying Jen and her not-yet-fiance'. Once the might-be mother-in-law realizes that Jen is mortified by the thought of children, she might say tactfully, "Woah! Red flag! Any 32 year old woman who is mortified by the thought of children--- can you say narcissism? Yeah, say it while you're dropping her off, Son!"
* Get Away. When the in-laws visit for several weeks at the holidays this is a good time to take your family vacation. "Yes, we'd love you to come to our home for the holidays--- we'll be in Florida--- so make yourselves at home."
* Middle Ground. With larger families all the celebrations between October and December can become overwhelming so it's important to find ways to compromise. For instance, your in-laws may have a large Thanksgiving celebration where everyone is expected to attend. Instead of having dinner and dessert at your in-laws, you can always have Thanksgiving dinner at home and then for dessert drive past your in-laws home on the way to Dairy Queen. There are ways of finding a middle ground.

wheres my gangstas and all my thugs, throw them hands up and show some love, and welcome to detroit city

just cos i think its funny

So string up the lights and light the tree, we're damned for all eternity

but for just one day all is well,
it's christmastime in hell!

http://media.putfile.com/WizardsofWinter-SM

its a question of not letting what we've been through crumble to dust

one word.

WOW.

this could have been about a lot of things, but its not so dont stop and try to look for a message

you heard so many things you couldnt recall,
but this time i swear its not about anything at all


i keep forgetting i have this whole blog thing wrong.

i either need to

1) start selling something
2) post pictures of cats i own which would necessitate 2b) purchasing cats
or
3) start posting pictures of naked chicks


i'll think it over and get on that...

if i pick you up, would you drag me down? if i run to you, would you turn around?

i was going to post a couple days ago about what people wanted for christmas.
eric wants 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. andrew wants to finish a project he has been working on. my christmas wish was for my car to start up every morning, without fail.

currently, my car is sitting in the west oaks II parking lot, where it has been for the last 2 days. i would make Rainbow Brite proud with the prism-like swirls that extend in a 5 yard radius out from my car all over the pavement. hopefully it will be towed today, and hopefully brian's dad will be able to make it drivable again.
just last week, when the winds were really bad during the night, a tree branch fell on the front of my mom's car. it hit just the very front, and she ended up driving over it, lodging underneath her car. she pulled off the road and attempted to pull out as much tree as possible- but it had impaled her radiator and messed up some other stuff i dont remember. $400 and a favor later from brian's dad her car is back on the road, but she was deciding against having christmas because she didnt have the spending money to pull it off. of course, the daughters jump into action. sunday, sam and i would pull out the decorations and christma-fy the house while nik took mom out to the Festival of Trees, to have a nice suprise when she came home. i was going to buy little presents for everyone- from "santa" and give money to jim to buy/cut down a tree. i didnt really have a plan b- in case of my car.
luckily mom decided to have christmas- she said she snapped out of it and stopped feeling sorry for herself "how can i not have christmas? i always have christmas!" she had already started decorating when i got a ride to her house after work- 8 hours after my car said "fuck you". she would decorate and get everone together for dinner. im glad she came to. she loves christmas.

this is an emergency, dont you hide your eyes from me, open them and see me now

twice now ive attempted to do my christmas shopping to get it over with, and twice now ive come home empty handed.
well, technically not empty handed... i bought a #4 from mcdonalds (no pickles)...
i have no idea what to get anyone... on a budget.. and not make it look like i had a budget...
any ideas?

if all else fails..
everyone is getting a hooker.

a hooker bought on a budget..

so she might be a little gross.. but still- it's the thought that counts, right? ;)

It’s hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye goodbye

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home,'" " It sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "it's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know >>>> you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.
5. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of >>>> himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did




There she go talking her mess
all around time makin me stressed
I need to get this off my chest
and if ya girl want some then she'll be next
it aint really that complicated
ya'll lookin round like ya'll all frustrated
Ya actin real hard but I know your fakin
I know you really dont wanna step to this
I really dont know why you talkin shit
you about to catch one right in the lip
there's 'bout to be a -WHAT?!-

This is what I came up with after finally seeing the pix posting...
http://coh.com/community/halloween_images.html

Guesses for the Halloween Contest winners:

Best Male:
Kor #40
Argonnus #3

Best Female:
Frostfarie #31
Ravenna #53

Scariest:
Hypothermia #16
Kill the Clown #28

Scariest/Location:
Admiral Steaksauce #9 ?
Necro Femme #11 ?

Overall:
Conflicted Nature #30
Shadow Vixen #19

i see that avonlea and firedust have entered again- i wonder if i should have gone with jericca but.. "meh"... im starting to wonder about that avonlea guy. he really likes to dress up as her ;)

too bad there isnt a most daring again. :P

maybe next year....

from bikes to trains to video games...

i always thought that the Kmart radio network blew chunks- especially at christmas time. you hear three versions of the 12 days of christmas, one of which is sung by the muppets. now, all my friends know that i likes me a good muppet movie. however, listening to miss piggy sing "5 golden rings" over and over makes one want to slam their balls in the sliding glass door. or, in my case- being ball-less, to hang myself from the rafters with barbed wire.
unfornunately, toys r us radio is worse. i havent heard the muppets sing 12 days of christmas, but sylvester singing frosty the snowman has the same effect on me. it doesnt stop there, though... there is quite an array of characters to choose from, all singing different christmas songs.. on a 4 hour loop.
no matter how i try to block it out.. it just seems to pierce my soul.
just another reason to hate the holidays.
and its not even december yet.
merry f'n christmas.

some people call it a one night stand but we could call it paradise

if a guy wants to brag about how his wife has to wear a size H bra, but you see his wife and think
i cant really tell that she has size H boobs because her ass is proportionate to her chest
does he still get bragging rights?
and if by "she has the face of a cupie (sp) doll" and you think more like troll
i dont kno.. maybe its just me. but i think if youre going to go on and on about how hot/cute/lustworthy your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other is... you'd better be damn sure its not just you who thinks that.
all i can think of is that scene from dodgeball where White introduces Fran, from Romanovia and Lady in Red plays for the skinny kid

or... maybe im wrong

if the silence takes you than i hope it takes me too

getting an apartment here is almost as fun as watching your dog get run over by a truck.
hopefully NOW we will find out on monday if we have the go ahead for moving in on the 1st.
if not... i may have to slink my way back into kalamazoo.
do you ever want to just kick someone in the head because they talk to much? (i know youre nodding). why do the stories have to revolve around them? and, when you have an anecdote to add to the conversation, they cut you off before you even get to the relevant part to refocus the attention onto them. *slams head on desk
thanksgiving is on sunday. but, its october you say?
welcome to my mom's house. holidays are very flexible here. there will be 25 people in my house that day, if i counted correctly. if its going well or not, i'll be out of there at 7:45 to go to work. i think by that time i'll have had enough of the 7 kids...

but words left unspoken, left us too brittle, there was so little left to give

i feel *blah*
no, not BLAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
the last few days i've been analizing my life, or lack thereof.
i want to say that i wonder how i got here, to this point, but i really know.
i have gone a while now without night terrors but i just have a feeling that they will be creeping up on me again. in all honesty, i would rather wake up attempting to scream than randomly double over from sporatic chest pains.
i have a lot of "i should do this... i need to do this... i want to do this...i need to do this..." going on in my head right now. and for now my haircut is just a haircut. that will be after my halloween pix. i posted a comment on joes site about how showing skin makes baby jesus cry. i'll be giving him a coronary come halloween.
hopefully by 4 pm i will know if i am moving out and into an apartment. so, of course you bitches should come visit. hell, i'll probably try to bribe you into bringing out the last of my stuff thats in kzoo.


the ties i have to my father are down to a thread right now... and the sissors are getting closer.


Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for you
If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it's your eyes He's seeing through

lets do the time warp again...

are all the people that work at circuit city complete morons? 20 minutes and 4 associates later, we still ended up leaving empty handed because no one apparently knows how to ring up a pre-order computer game. o well- game stop came through for us.

everytime i go online i feel like i should leave something on here. i usually dont. but i do think about it. to give my "whats up" to all the J's. why are there so many J's in that circle of people? do you all gravitate towards one another? all you people. like its a race of people. all YOU people, with J names... damn... J's...
?

wow. im tired. i've been singing rocky horror songs for the last hour at work because... im either tired or out of my mind.

in any case... ill talk to you bitches soon. im hoping to go to kzoo for the pix again.. but one of you bastards needs to have a halloween party. get your shit together! i want an ipod!
i'll even let ya paint me!
... but that will be just between you and me. ;)

you tied a noose around your neck, and they pushed you over

o.o
>.<
o.O

kjaskjfskjhfakslhfaksljfdldslahg lhagl hgowenvodt ejiwvnskle.
.....


that is all.

yes

(http://jofish19.blogspot.com ) Joe, I totally agree with you on the writing what you want to write vs cesoring what you want to write because of... whatever reason.
i personally censor myself because im afraid of my family finding this, i guess. or even you guys back in kzoo... im sure theres a lot i could blurt out on here, but i keep it to myself because of what people might think. the random person that finds this blog- whatever- but my friends.. thats tricky. im typing as i think, so im sure this is a train wreck. i really need to go to sleep before i head to my other job.. so this is me rambling.. tired. but if i didnt censor myself if probably would just be a bunch of stuff like
"i've been hiding this from everyone.. im ________"
"i really wish i had never _______"
"only 3 people know that i ___________"
" i ______________________"
"i wish i would have slept with ________"

:D

your mother was a hamster...

yay! countdown to kzoo.
i get off work at epoch at 5pm.. home and out the door *hopefully* by 5:30... kzoo by 8?
we'll see..

anyway- they've announced the next costume contest on http://cityofheroes.com
i have some ideas, and i've asked the goth kid for ideas too. i dont know why, but i figured the brooding artistic goth kid would be able to come up with something archvillain-y. i dont kno why i keep calling him a kid. especially since i found out he's 29. *shrugs*
hopefully in the end its something "wow" and "thats fuckin cool"... at least enough for 2nd place. i just want the ipod. ;) and if not. i'll just whore it out and be a game slut. thats cool too. *shrug*
in either case, diva7 can suck my balls.

see you bitches soon-

aye amor, fue' una tortura perderte

im going to be in kzoo this weekend.
can i convince you bitches to go out clubbin?
as the wise dane cook said... "I just gotta DANCE."

anyone interested? ;)

run my baby, run my baby run

i had a post yesterday. due to bad connection or what not, it never posted- then i got frustrated and walked away.
i dont remember what words of wisdom i was trying to bestow to you, dear weblog readers- aka john and joe ;)

the only thing i do remember was i was going to close with words for the ages, as said by my sister...
after belching very loud...

"Good thing that didnt come out of my ass, or i would have shit myself!"



sexy.

this is my december...

i feel like im turning into The Dave. I've added calcium to my daily Olay vitamin pack which basically means im taking 6 pills in the morning. That just seems like a lot of tablets to me.
Now, at least is does. Back in highschool i dont think that would have made much of a difference. I was downing pain killers like it was my job- trying to stop the random/not so random pains throughout my chest and abdomen. when i left for college i all but stopped taking medicine- with the occassional tylenol...
hmm..
where the hell am i going with this.

can you tell i really have nothing better to write about?

if anyone is looking for new music- i recommend the new Cold cd. i likes cold.

at the moment i *should* be showering, going to the post office, checking out apartments, and grocery shopping. not at the same time, hopefully.

instead i am here-
all i really need is my sister to stop by with the baby. that would get me up and moving... out.
but she did give me a nice quote yesterday which i've remembered just so you fine people can use it in your daily lives. inspirational words, i guess.

after belching loud and chunky, my younger sister declared, " Good thing that didnt come out of my ass, or i would have shit myself!"


sexy. plain and simple.

peace out, dogs.

im ready im waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches you want me? come on and break the door down

random-

i hope jorids comes out with a cd soon- my sister was rooting for her for 'teh win'.

anyone want to take in a stray cat? the woman across the street died, and someone just let her cat out to roam the neighborhood til it dies, i guess. its big and white with a grey tail.

they switched over to a night crew at work, and didn't tell me about it. which i thought was weird, because that was the reason i was hired. im still at 6 am.
i ran into "Chris"- who is now on the nightcrew (the goth "im the biggest dork you'll ever meet" guy). he told me that he would mention to someone that i should go to nights. then he told me that i really caught him offguard from our previous conversation about action figures.
that really just made me wonder why he would try to have that conversation with me, if he thought i knew nothing about what he was talking about.
do people do that?
its not like im going to walk up to someone ive just met and say "hey, how about that establishing micro-credit type institutions in sub-saharan Africa?" *playful punch in the shoulder and then proceed to have a one sided conversation where the other person just nods for 5 minutes.
what was he expecting? "hey, the new transformers are pretty cool."
(1)- yeah, but i dont like how small the new Optimus is compared to Starscream. They even have him standing on a box, in the display. but i guess it doesnt matter... i have a handful of the energon series- it's not like im going to buy any more soon, unless they have a cool set of mini-cons or something.
or
(2) *blank stare* ... rrrrrright.

*shrug

8 days to my birthday.
and a couple weeks for Jofish. how old are you going to be this year? i never remember how old anyone is.. except that john is like... 40.

basic english

Examples why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They formed a row on the side of the canoe.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, w hen the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

jet

I'm changing now the wind is at my back
And I'm so ready to go
And I cannot sleep tonight for tomorrow
Ain't gonna get to you tonight
Like a wild jet plain arrives - forgiven

See that your time wasn't a waste
Don't you let her leave you tonight,
you know she can't be sorry for affectionate lies
She's so sweet for her crimes
Like a wild jet plane, fly - forgiven

Now you'll never catch me looking back,
though I've still a long way to go
Don't you count on me tonight
You need to find your own way home
Like a sinking ship dives, like a wild jet plain arise - forgiven

sigh

A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check. He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really much rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants achauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drivearound in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Becauseof the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escorther on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartmentabove the garage and the starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!"
The social worker says,"Yeah, well, you started it."

how can we fix this if we have no adhesion?

long time, no post.
what is up. does anyone ever look at this, except the occassional spam post?
any-hoo....

i was trained in the art of toys r us stocking by a 6'4" rail thin goth with red contact lenses. he was extremely bubbly for 6 in the morning. he actually reminds me of a combination of chris1, and old roommate who would run around my apartment naked pretending to mount my stuffed panda, and chris2 who i used to work with- who would work like a maniac and seems to be waiting for his father to just die. i cant remember the goth guy's name, so i just call him chris.
as the morning progressed, he attempted to "out-dork" me- in an attempt to prove he was a bigger geek, and therefore- the epitome of cool. ???
it confused me at first, until i realized what he was trying to do. his knowledge of toys- tv- 80s trivia etc etc... however, he didn't know that i had lived with joe, john, and adam... and i listened.

bring it on.

the only examples i can really remember were kinda like how he mentioned how he and his friends would do a little thing called "mystery scince theatre 3000" to movies like 'catwoman' but it was so bad that they couldnt even make fun of it. so i let him know that they should try the movie 'jesus christ vampire hunter:the musical" since we couldnt get through that one, either.
-marcy 1, chris 0.

then he let me know that he owns about 1,000 transformers. i told him that my transformers were set up in a battle scene ontop of the enertainment center with gi joes, rainbow brite, homies, and minicons dancing/fighting around their feet. he 'countered' by mentioning that they are making a live action movie- which i already knew, and told him i hope they dont fuck it up but it looks like they might have the right team assembled to make it. he then mentioned the 80s movie, and i told him how they said "shit" and it got people up in arms.
-tie.

later he started quoting Stewie from family guy, and i completed the last few lines when he quit.

nothing huge, just little things that the couple other people working there had no idea what he was talking about. i did. so i let him kno. i was in on all his little inside jokes wether he wanted me to be or not.


anyway. i've put in 74 hours in a week and a half at my other job- serving/setup/break down for a catering company. $12-15 an hour. they're hiring if anyone is interested. ;)

that is all for now.

continue doing what you were doing.

i came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now i've met you

i posted my resume on monster.com.
so far, i've been sent info from enterprise- to sell used cars
and primerica. i cant explain primerica. but if you google it, you can find all the details. mostly bad...

i dont really see how an international politics degree with an urge to see the world translates into used cars. but hey. i cant be picky right now.

thats why i will be working mornings at toys r us- and weekends serving for a catering company.

funny thing is- instead of working for rock financial, i will be serving them dinner on saturday.

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job. Both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test. Upon completion of the test, each man had missed only one question out of ten. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job." Bubba asked, "and why are you giving him the job? We each got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!" The manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed." Bubba then asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager replied: "Bubba, it's like this. For question # 4 the Yankee wrote; 'I don't know.' And you wrote, 'Neither do I.'"

and i cant even really believe, no one was sent to get me...

I went to a picnic yesterday. I was told by a mentally retarded guy that I looked like Kelly Bundy, from Married With Children. I don't know if he meant to say Christina Applegate or really Kelly Bundy. I'm just hoping it wasnt Kelly from the early 80s. Needless to say, I didn't have a spandex dress on or bangs that could touch the ceiling. I think my long, straight, blonde hair was really the only match for a Kelly Bundy comparison. *shrugs*
When I was 13, a 30ish guy was trying to hit on me in Marvelous Marvin's Mechanical Museum. He told me I looked like Kim Basinger. He then inserted a quarter into a touch screen game that you would usually find in a bar, and wanted me to play a round with him. However, I think the options screen confused him because instead of selecting the game *for guys* where you would get a woman in a bikini to look at with a trivia question underneath, he chose "guys" and ended up with guys laying around in thong swimsuits on beaches. He then just looked really confused, mumbled something about the game being broken and stumbled off, to masturbate furiously in the mens room- for all I know...
When I was 14, my then bf told me I kinda looked like Kate Moss. However, I didn't subsequently starve myself to keep that look. Or, more realistically, I never really looked like Kate Moss.
I think that's everyone I've been compared to. At least, thats all I can remember.
Any others you can think of? (referring to the 2 people that *might* read this, that know me...)

I feel so bad, I feel so numb (yeah!) *rocks out

People are like Slinkys...
They're really good for nothing,
but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

The lovers, the dreamers, and me...

California was wonderful. The flights to and from were... interesting. Traveling with a neurotic/psychotic grandmother, a mother stressing herself to the point of a coronary, and an 11 month old baby made for a blissful flight. I only could have hoped for a woman singing showtunes off key and a kid scraping his fingernails across a chalkboard for a "complete" flying experience.
Universal studios was a lot of fun. 3 slices of pizza and 3 cokes was $30. When we got back to the hotel I told my mom we had a 3 way with my sister and Van Helsing, we got on our knees for Fivel, and got hit on by Spiderman. If you've never been, I suggest Shrek 4-D and the Mummy ride. If you're sick of walking, hop on the back lot tour- its 45 minutes and you get to see a shredded Boeing 747 scene from War of the Worlds.
My brothers wedding was absolutely beautiful. My sisters were joking that the last 2 still unwed had a lot of work to do to one-up this wedding. All the groomsmen were in kilts, and the wedding party walked down to Cannon in D. The bride was led down by a bagpiper- and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Even the best man (NRA-deer huntin-BFE livin eldest brother) welled up, which just makes it harder for the rest of us to hold back the tears.

I saw Fantasic 4 last night. Joe, be glad you missed it. Besides the acting that licks balls, there was a guy a few seats down from us that was talking to his invisible friend the entire movie, and laughing really loud at parts that were only supposed to be mild sarcastic humor. Or even better, when Johnny realizes he has fire power, the guy said "and they were all like "woah! hahaha!" or "FLAME ON!" about an hour before the character says it. Or, "Dr. DOOM!" 4 or 5 times before he turns into Dr. Doom. The character just had to be onscreen... nothing more. I still enjoyed it. I like most of the comic book movies. I just wish I hadn't paid $15.

there's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt

Sometime between noticing that neighbor kids pulled the flowers off the lillies outside our door, and the fountain (fireworks) that was blazing a foot away from my driverside door I wondered...
just HOW illegal is it to set up bear traps outside the house with signs that say "F*** OFF AND DIE"..
i really want bear traps..
is it really so wrong to help cleanse the gene pool of these assclowns?
happy f**kin 4th of july.

On another 4th note: anyone remember the guy who went on a rampage (of the white supremacy kind) today about... 6..7? years ago? ended up killing himself in this pickup truck at the end? all i really remember is that he was driving around shooting at anyone not caucasian.. i think one of the people he killed was a korean exchange student.

but i swear, if anyone sets off another damn firework NEXT TO my car... there will be hell to pay...
HELL I SAY

besides getting forwards about loving christ, this is what i get sent... does anyone actually write letters anymore?

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.

How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
OR Three- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Thank you for calling Babbages, the power of hell compels you. " What? " How can I help you?

I saw a police car outside of work. My first reaction was "I should slow down in the parking lot." When I realized there wasn't anyone in the car I thought, what the hell is a cop buying at Kmart at 9:50 pm- and why did he park right in front of the store?" When I walked in and back to the break room, I was passed by a woman in handcuffs and a policeman following her out. Then i felt the little lightbulb over my head turn on, and I felt like a retard. It was a little awkward. She looked late 40s- early 50s... or she just might not take care of herself, and is really only 36. Probably has a couple kids and a drunk boyfriend back home. Maybe she steals because her family is starving. If that is the case, hopefully they are hungry for $50 worth of press-on nails. (or perfume.. or clothing..).
I've never really liked telling people where I work. "Kmart" doesn't really have connotations that command respect. But they pay me well and I don't deal with people. So that's a bonus. But, my time there is coming to a close. As well as my stay in Kalamazoo. I've been here since August of '99 when I started school. I graduated July of '04 and just kinda stuck around. I'm one of those people that fear change and become paralized into inaction by the thought of failure and responsibility.
I recieved my bachelors because I knew it wouldn't be hard. If I wasn't so damn lazy I could have four pointed and been in the honors program, but instead I settled for a 3.3 and avoided giving myself another ulcer. The first one was at 13 I think.
Now, I am forcing myself to change my life. I'm moving back to the east side of the state within a month with a new place to call home and hopefully a job that doesn't require a box cutter.
I'm sure Gerardo, the guy who cleans the floors will miss me. I've had 1 stalker, 1 assault, and many guys fall in love with me- all Mexican guys cleaning the floors for Kmart. Why? 2 things. 1) im blonde- it's a status thing and/or a fetish thing. 2) the managers have me translate for them when theres a problem- in mexico girls only talk to guys when they want to date them- so just by telling them "hey, go mop up the shit by motor oil" they think OMG she wants me.
I almost got knifed by one guys wife for this. She thought I wanted her ugly little wookie of a man all for myself. I attempted to explain that in the states you can talk to whoever you want and i'm just practing my spanish. She told me that he tells her our conversations. I think one of them is lying. The extent of our conversations is "hi how are you" "fine" "its hot today" "yes" "have a lot of work?" "always".
I can totally see where I was saying "take me on the floor, manmeat". Especially when I walk down the aisle in underwear, in slow motion, with a fan blowing my hair back, holding a sign in spanish that says "do me."
*shrug*

Move forward and die, move backward and die... so you might as well move forward.

I've just gotten back from a week back home. (East side of the state.) It went well. I didn't want to gouge my eyes out with a spork, or drive my car into the Detroit river. I think that's a good thing.
Welcome back, Joe.

joke

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband says, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she says.
"Just get the hell out."

life expectancy

http://www.nmfn.com/tnetwork/longevity_game_popup.html

im expected to live to 91.
I've always thought 27.
So i either have 4 years.. or 68.

Here's to fate *cheers*

Don't Cha?

Wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

For some reason... this song bothers me.
There are a lot of songs that bother me. But I have this one stuck in my head from hearing it last night at work. Maybe it will slowly drive me crazy. To the point where my boyfriend and I are walking aroung the mall, I spot a hot girl, and sucker punch him in the stomach saying "don't cha whish your girlfriend was hot like her??? Don't cha?? I'll never be good enough for you, will I??" Then run off half crying in a fit of rage, only to be hit by a H2 driven by some sorority girl in a Hooters t shirt, listening to "Don't cha."

Or...
you know...
not.

The Magazine Rack

Every month in Esquire you'll find a page thats titled something like Ten Things Men Don't Know About Women... or something to that effect. Then some random chick in the public eye writes up a list of 10 things. Usually at some point they'll say one like "You want that threesome with the hot chick at work? So do we. Why don't you go ask her." Which makes me wonder if there are actually a high percentage of women that are repressing lesbian tendencies and haven't told their boyfriend/husband, or if the articles has a threesome reference quota of at least once per '10 things' to turn on the men the magazine is geared towards. In any case, I'm going to put in my two cents and make my own "10 things list" for the general male public. If you already know these things, good for you. If you want to dispute my list- bite it. It's just my opinion. ;) In no particular order..

• You know all those axe/tag/ whatever body spray ads that have women fighting each other and flinging themselves at the good smelling guy? There's a hint of truth in that. Girls like guys that smell great. Insta-points for you. If you walk by a table of girls and they can smell your cologne (not so much it's gagging them) they will turn their heads to see who smells so good.
• Be nice to your mom. It's a reflection of how you treat women. Unless she's a total heinous bitch, then avoid her instead of yelling at her.
• We like that guys can kill bugs for us, stay calm in stressful/dangerous situations, can maintain our car, and eat like a man.
• Give compliments, but be sincere. It doesn't even have to be that often, maybe once a month. We remember these things.
• Instead of saying thank you when we make dinner, how about washing the dishes. Even better is if you know how to cook, and do it on a regular basis to give us a break. Chicks dig guys who can cook.
• Manscaping- learn it, love it.
• Men crying is only allowed when there is a death, you just got dumped by the girl you thought you'd be with forever, dismemberment, or a kick to the nuts. Movies are a grey area- unless you're crying and she isn't.... that's just wrong.
• Knowing how to dress yourself and match does not make you gay. Dressing well does not make you gay. Wearing pink does not make you gay- but it doesn't look right on all men. Having sex with other men makes you gay.
• We are always watching you. I mean that in a good way. There are a million little things that you do, that we love, and will never tell you.
• #10 will be the fine print rule that allows us to change our minds at a moments notice. It happens a lot. Accept it.

Word Up (Up) It's the code word...

Random Survey Questions:

What are you listening to: Word up- Korn
What are you eating: Taco Bell
Something you love: extra spending money
Something you hate: being in debt
Something you miss: being in school
Something you can't remember: life without a computer
I can't live without: a hair dryer and round brush
A website I recommend: http://www.deviantart.com/
Something I did today: Coinstar-ed my piggy bank... $48.36 that's a lot of freakin change
What I wanted to be when I was little: a paleontologist
What I am now: a college graduate working at Kmart
Within the next 5 years I want to: finish a damn book and have it published... and hopefully sell
Your name spelled backwards. Ycram
Where were your parents born? I want to say.. Detroit? Redford? or Livonia? I actually don't know
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? an update for City of Heroes
What's your favorite restaurant? I like food.. so ... I have a lot of "favorites"
Last time you swam in a pool? July '04- hotel for Nik's wedding
Have you ever been in a school play? in it, no I was the soundtrack... you could find me in the Orchestra pit, playing trombone
How many kids do you want? none-
Type of music you dislike most? music for children and all Christmas music
Are you registered to vote? yes- back in Novi
Ever ridden on a moped? no and probably never will
Ever prank call anybody? I didn't, but friends I was with did
Ever get a parking ticket? a couple.. damn Kzoo cops with nothing to do at 4 am than ticket me ;)
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Jesus god- NO
Furthest place you ever traveled? Beijing, China
Do you have a garden? no, I dont have a yard either
What's your favorite comic strip? Ctl Alt Destroy, I think it's called
Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes
Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower, whenever I wake up.. between 8 am and 7 pm
Best movie you've seen in the past month? Episode 3
Favorite pizza topping? ham and pineapple
What color lipstick do you usually wear? pinkish brown... i dont kno...
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? god no
Orange or Apple juice? both- as long as its no pulp orange
Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? taco bell with Adam
Favorite type chocolate bar? kit kat
When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2000, for gore i didnt make it home for 2004
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? never
Have you ever won a trophy? a lot of band awards.. theyre all collecting dust in a closet somewhere
Are you a good cook? i could burn cereal
Do you know how to pump your own gas? yes
Ever order an article from an infomercial? direct from the infomerical no.. i've seen the infomerical and bought the product online or in a store like- the Abslide.. used like 3 times
Sprite or 7-up? same thing to me
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? no
Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Orthoevra
Ever throw up in public? yes
Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? money
Do you believe in love at first sight? no
Can exes be friends? for other people, i think so.. for me. not usually-
Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? no one
Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? full head of black hair.. then it all fell out and i was bald for a while- then got blonde curls- think
What message is on your answering machine? its a scary automated computery voice.. i dont kno what it says tho
What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? character.. i dont kno... but i like most of what will farrell and jimmy fallon do
What was the name of your first pet? Buffy
What is in your purse? nothing- thats what a wallet is for
Favorite thing to do before bedtime? watch something funny on tv.. or play COH
What is one thing you are grateful for today? the invention of Coinstar


well, that was fun. did anyone actually read through all of that?

That's right bitches...

I'm blogging.
I'm assuming that the novelty will wear off quickly. So don't expect this page to be updated all the time.