besides getting forwards about loving christ, this is what i get sent... does anyone actually write letters anymore?

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot him again.

How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
OR Three- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs and diamonds.