Thank you for calling Babbages, the power of hell compels you. " What? " How can I help you?

I saw a police car outside of work. My first reaction was "I should slow down in the parking lot." When I realized there wasn't anyone in the car I thought, what the hell is a cop buying at Kmart at 9:50 pm- and why did he park right in front of the store?" When I walked in and back to the break room, I was passed by a woman in handcuffs and a policeman following her out. Then i felt the little lightbulb over my head turn on, and I felt like a retard. It was a little awkward. She looked late 40s- early 50s... or she just might not take care of herself, and is really only 36. Probably has a couple kids and a drunk boyfriend back home. Maybe she steals because her family is starving. If that is the case, hopefully they are hungry for $50 worth of press-on nails. (or perfume.. or clothing..).
I've never really liked telling people where I work. "Kmart" doesn't really have connotations that command respect. But they pay me well and I don't deal with people. So that's a bonus. But, my time there is coming to a close. As well as my stay in Kalamazoo. I've been here since August of '99 when I started school. I graduated July of '04 and just kinda stuck around. I'm one of those people that fear change and become paralized into inaction by the thought of failure and responsibility.
I recieved my bachelors because I knew it wouldn't be hard. If I wasn't so damn lazy I could have four pointed and been in the honors program, but instead I settled for a 3.3 and avoided giving myself another ulcer. The first one was at 13 I think.
Now, I am forcing myself to change my life. I'm moving back to the east side of the state within a month with a new place to call home and hopefully a job that doesn't require a box cutter.
I'm sure Gerardo, the guy who cleans the floors will miss me. I've had 1 stalker, 1 assault, and many guys fall in love with me- all Mexican guys cleaning the floors for Kmart. Why? 2 things. 1) im blonde- it's a status thing and/or a fetish thing. 2) the managers have me translate for them when theres a problem- in mexico girls only talk to guys when they want to date them- so just by telling them "hey, go mop up the shit by motor oil" they think OMG she wants me.
I almost got knifed by one guys wife for this. She thought I wanted her ugly little wookie of a man all for myself. I attempted to explain that in the states you can talk to whoever you want and i'm just practing my spanish. She told me that he tells her our conversations. I think one of them is lying. The extent of our conversations is "hi how are you" "fine" "its hot today" "yes" "have a lot of work?" "always".
I can totally see where I was saying "take me on the floor, manmeat". Especially when I walk down the aisle in underwear, in slow motion, with a fan blowing my hair back, holding a sign in spanish that says "do me."
*shrug*